Just in case ya'll care

There are lots of things that really irritate me in this world, such as: finding the perfect lipstick (or nail polish) and having it disappear from every store three days before it runs out and I want a new one; the rarest of rare, the perfect brassiere that evaporates from the face of every retail outlet on the earth when it's time to buy its replacement. I travel a lot, and have been expecting my oh-so-useful toiletries bag to expire at any moment it's so old. Do you think they make them that way any more? It's perfect - perfect size, perfect shape, it holds all the essential junk within zippered, leak-resistant compartments, lays out flat so it always fits in an overfull suitcase, and it's not even ugly (maybe just a little ratty from years of use). But no, "they" had to 100% re-engineer this perfect, classic, functional design into myriad far less functional forms. Why??
And speaking of "they," why on earth can't they make cotton pants that don't bag out after an hour or two of wear? The elastic content that's in everything makes it worse. My jeans and khakis fit so comfortably and flatteringly fresh out of the dryer, but even the high end ones could fit two of me by the end of the day. And at my size, that's really saying something.
Other things very, very low on my approval list: people whose outgoing voice or e-mail messages tell me they'll get back to me at their earliest convenience. Wow, goodness, I'd sure hate to inconvenience them! (The polite outgoing form, obviously, is to commit to respond at their earliest opportunity.) The nearly ubiquitous misuse of the word simplistic drives me insane as well. Here's another one: the use of frigging (as an adjective) in "polite" company, as a supposedly milder version of fucking. Doesn't anyone know what frigging means??
Do I sound the least bit crabby today?